Having a family and deciding how that family looks is a very individual decision. I had pretty strong ideals from an early age and for a long time was not able to fulfill those desires.
I’ve wanted to be a mom my entire life, I never imagined I would be a mom of an only child. That was the way life panned out for 11 years. I’m grateful I had 11 years with my oldest son and I believe we have a strong bond because of it.
Once I made major life changes, my fertility was restored and getting and staying pregnant is no longer an issue. The thing about it though is that I’m almost 39 and my husband is 52.
Secure Decision Making
At my last prenatal appointment, I signed the paperwork to go ahead with a tubal ligation with the birth of our daughter in May. This was a decision I didn’t take lightly. I have weighed the logical vs emotional thoughts surrounding my decision. And I didn’t reach out for advice or opinions. My husband and I reached a conclusion based on how we envision our family and future.
Logically, we are at capacity in our home, we have a son headed to high school in the fall, we have a 2-year old, this birth will be my 3rd c-section, I’ve had several miscarriages, I’ll be 39, and the list goes on.
Emotionally, I will mourn the thought that babies are so sweet and cute, I’ll miss the baby phase, it’s the last time I’ll ever be pregnant, what if there are surgical risks? Thoughts like that.
When the emotional load comes on, all I have to do is quickly go back to my “logic list” and all feels sensible again. Also, being in a present centered and future creating space avoids excess emotionality.
Taking control of what could be an unknown helps close the reproductive era. When I look at life and see how fleeting it truly is, I know that being focused on what we want to create FOR our family is the best option for our next phase. So we must action toward it daily.
There truly is a lot to do. Babies and children are an absolute blessing, and we will relish in this process all the while preparing for our own retirement, old age, and legacy we want to leave.
Life is full, and when I miss those tiny baby toes, I know there are millions of other women out there embracing their reproductive years, and I can possibly reach out and give them a hand on their journey.